So.... I’m... just like supposed to start typing this up right? Fine, but i’m taking every minute of this as vacation time.                     And your buying lunch.                    And concert tickets.

Sir Cardinal David Adeline has me locked up again. A prisoner isolated from the world, I will die here. Rotting and alone. I shall never know the embrace of suitable man. Or the sweet taste of his heart's blood afterwards. Here I shall die. Of boredom.

Fine.

Whatever. 

David, you want prophecies, on the fifth cycle of Lilith in the year 750, that object you’ve been missing is going to return... provided you stay out of my room, and my closet in particular. Deviation from this will result in all of it burning. I’m going to let Xavier know when I’m done jamming this fountain pen into my arm so I can get the blood needed to write out how the citizens of Dischordia all going to miss the point and die anyway.  I mean, when was the last time they read anything? Wait..... that’s it. They can’t read. None of us should be reading... we should make our own language! That of the moon people....

~Lily. ☋☂♅☃ (<- moon language for the Illiterate)

Right, getting this over with,  how I see it to set the stage. World End History 101 before we get into Advanced Adult Molestation of Demon God Daughter Prophet 102. 

There was a Sun. There was an Earth. There was a Moon. There was MTV. Only one of these things survived. (I have the entire stations broadcast in USB format). Finally, all the suffering that the world deserved because of terrible people like Abraham; finally came. All the little whiny pathetic annoying anorexic children of Eve and Adam got hit full force of Heaven’s Eviction notice. All because Grandpa Abraham decided to go shopping for porno mags and skittles and wasn't there to protect them. 

So Mom finally got back with Dad. Dad killed mom’s ex boyfriend. They hung out on their anniversary, they each thought of me enough to bring me home presents. I got guns. They got drunk of silver wine and roasted meats that they ordered from the fast food joint called Horizon. A bunch of people had a giant party because two people decided to get back together. I hate formal events, at least the party favors were humans whose heads you could twist off. Sacrificing a few billion of the neighbors kids was the offering. Aunt Gaia tossed a fit about it though, she put on her nanny gown and went home early. 

So the party is going on, and like, things are just getting started. When the drunk uncle shows up. He had a few too many beers down at bar Abyss. Again. He does this every 50,000 or so. Ever since Vietnam he’s never been the same. Well, uncle and my hot cousin (still can’t get over that, I mean, how does he look better when he loses an eye, like he became a secret agent or something...). Get into a fight at their house, and Uncle decides to pass out there.  So my cousins decide to take the only avaible action. Which is not to draw on his face. It’s a 3rd age themed costume party over here to celebrate mom and dads anniversary. 

So, that’s where we are at. Looking through my calendar, (I stole a working iphone from Peter in the first year. It will be returned in exchange for a pet basilisk). The first part of the party is getting everyone here and getting set up. mmmmm check. Aunt Gaia and the Hipsters of Lost Angels bounced out, but Michelangelo and Dad always handle her planning later anyway. Gaia’s going to gorge herself on bon bons and watch soap operas now that she’s got her kitty cats back in her house. She really is a crazy cat lady. Eater of Souls, The Destroyer, Mr. Smith, Tuatha... they are cool cats and all, but they piss everywhere when she lets them out. (I heard that she let them out in Mom’s Ex-Boyfriends back yard though)

Next up is popularity contest where high school meets the real world.. Hermes and the King of Cats I hear have plans on that vs Aphrodite and Minitaur. We’ll see about that. This is one of the big la-ta-de-da’s of these affairs, everyone gets involved. yaaaayy... woooo... Ahem... okay, so, it is all about making sure that the purpose they have is theirs alone or whatever. Delegation of workload I guess is out of style in this bizarro world. Coyote was the king last time of this game, but this time around Loki has his bag and I’m not putting balorian coin on a repeat champion. Underdogs ftw! If it’s anything like last time, there will be some crazy motherfucker who covers himself in skins of the fallen and wine from my parents feast then rubbing it on it’s fur. It’s why you never invite dogs to the table. Oh thats right! There is also the bringing of the party! Yeah, yeah, how could I forget about that. because they never let me do it. Last time, all the guests got together, and just decided that this is the backyard we are going to use, and just made everyone else join the party. Or we made them into the pinatas at the party. Hey, at least this time it will allow Cousin to send his stage crew out to figure out where is the best spot in the yard for the concert. 

Once the stage is set and the concert is ready to start getting on it’s way. Jusssssttttt when the good drugs and sex parties start happening, and I mean, like, here, this spot here, is probably where I’ll be able to find a guy, fuck him, and kill him. only the worthy. Then we can finally stop hanging on to Adams bastard kids. We can finally paint the walls red with Abrahams’ blood. We done with the prison warden. I stole his handcuffs. The community is going to complain about things getting so loud, and we’ll have to deal with inviting our court wizard, Lazarus. He’s not so bad, he was the one who figure out how to break Abrahams prison, so, I owe him a dance and a shot I guess. wrinkled skin. shudder.  He won’t be the only one though, other cell mates and neighbors are going to be crawling all over trying to get at the open bar, or worse: Trying to shut us down. I have many backup plans. The Jade is the best and worst at the same time. They never got it, they never got locked up. Rich kids get all the good treatment. They let us play to get it out of our system, but you know it’s coming where they are going to be all like “get to work son!”. Hopefully, drunk uncle hasn’t woken up and decided to crash this party. It goes one of two ways usually, the concert is over because he pulls the plug and the lights go out and everyone goes home, laaaaameee. Or the stage bouncers beat his ass so badly, it causes Blue Cross Blue Shield to go out of business. 

Rumor has it however, that someone who has never gotten a chance to break out the moves though is going to be poking their head around. Kayeel is done with his 888,888 year long prison sentence. I am psyched just thinking about him and his gang rolling into town. It’s going to make the popularity contest look like a twinkie does to a full blown organic chocolate fountain the size of Paris. Everyone is going to be getting in that one, I’m REALLY looking forward to this if it’s true. I mean, Solomon is going to go where? Mom’s friends are totally going to be screeching like girls at a bieber contest over this one. PETER is going to get his chance again to shake the Kayeels hand. Oh that would be the bomb! Beer, Avalon Toys, Magic! Oh my. 

So, usually the party ends after a few nights. I mean, Abaham was a tool and kept his party going for like, 18 years. We are taking steps to make sure that doesn’t happen again. Either way, usually the party turns ugly drunk here. or awesome drunk. Everyone starts fighting with each other even if they were playing nice. They all want to be the next host of the party. Will it be nightmare themed? Will it be a theme of perfect celestine harmony sung by the finest symphony and chorus? gag Will it be themed with the coolest magic firework shows? Will it be brother Akumas time? The list goes on. You can’t pay me enough to write it either, so don’t try. Can’t predict who gets to spin the wheel again and drive us off a cliff just yet. Wait, who am I kidding. If I have anything to say about it, it sure won’t be anyone like David. Secret Agent Hood all the way!

There. That’s what my calender says. I’m only rooting that I find a man to eat this time around. I’m sick of Eve’s kids around me. Just the sight of them makes me want to clip my eyelids off with a set of nail clippers. 

~Lily.